Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

- William Ernest Henley



It's only been a month since coming back from Burning Man. I had thought that I remembered everything I learned there, both about myself and the world but was surprised to realized how much I had already forgotten when the a quote was posted to the my Burning Man Facebook group, which brought it all back. The following is the quote:

"Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."

Max Ehrmann, "Desiderata"



"I've heard it said, that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn and we are lead to those who help us most to grow, if we let them and we help them in return... I do believe I have been changed for the better... because I knew you, I have been change for good".

It's been 11 years... 11 years since I've felt this way... felt cared about... felt like I could be myself... felt free... its been so long that I forgot what it felt like... Forgot that it existed. And somehow in a very roundabout way, life has brought it back... brought ME back.

I found something in myself that I lost a long time ago... that whole-hearted, loving, playful, and free kid that I could only see faintly along the dusty road in the rearview mirror... the kid who loved for love's sake, the boy who didn't care who saw him do something ridiculous, the man who wasn't afraid to cry.

This past week or so have been life changing... MORE than life changing. I've been torn down until I thought there was nothing left and then rebuilt with the love, tenderness, care, and understanding of people from literally all over the world who started as strangers and so quickly became family. I didn't know such a thing could happen in such a short period of time... or even at all. I've finally let go of being "Daniel Delphin" and on the very last night of my time with my new family received my new"playa" name of Dolphin... symbolizing the playful and free creature/soul that had been trying to get back to and that had been buried so deeply inside me under all the layers of "life".

And as I lay here in bed at 3 AM before getting up for a 6 AM flight back to my life in New York, I have to thank God/destiny/karma for reminding me what life is for... to smile, laugh, enjoy the company of true friends and family, to hug, to kiss, to care, to cry, to dance, to JUST BE. Daily life has kept me so caught up with the minute details of getting to the "light at the end of the tunnel" that I've forgotten to enjoy the ride through it... top down, hair blowing in the wind, with loved ones by my side, and a tune/beat we can all dance to together.

Maybe I don't need to get to that light... maybe the darkness of the tunnel isn't so dark at all... maybe I'm already exactly where I'm meant to be.

"I'm coming home, I'm coming home... tell the world I'm coming home. Let the rain, wash away, all the pain of yesterday. I know my kingdom awaits, and they've forgiven my mistakes. I'm coming home, coming home... tell the world I'm coming... home."



J.K. Rowling Commencement Speech

"It is impossible to live without failing at something unless you live so cautiously that you might as well have not lived at all, in which case you have failed by default."


Working long days/nights

I've been working long days/nights for the past little while trying to get projects completed and money brought in. While in the office, I stumbled upon a song by Tyga called "I'm Gone". I loved part of one of the verses so I figured I'd post it...
I say, fuck sleep stayed up
Fuck you, pay up
Always got the paycheck
Never took a pay cut
Payday will be worth all the broke nights I stayed up
So in my cup I'm mixing up whatever dreams are made of

pretty much exactly how I feel!