Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

- William Ernest Henley

Remembering...

It's only been a month since coming back from Burning Man. I had thought that I remembered everything I learned there, both about myself and the world but was surprised to realized how much I had already forgotten when the a quote was posted to the my Burning Man Facebook group, which brought it all back. The following is the quote:


"Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."

Max Ehrmann, "Desiderata"

HOME

"I've heard it said, that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn and we are lead to those who help us most to grow, if we let them and we help them in return... I do believe I have been changed for the better... because I knew you, I have been change for good".

It's been 11 years... 11 years since I've felt this way... felt cared about... felt like I could be myself... felt free... its been so long that I forgot what it felt like... Forgot that it existed. And somehow in a very roundabout way, life has brought it back... brought ME back.

I found something in myself that I lost a long time ago... that whole-hearted, loving, playful, and free kid that I could only see faintly along the dusty road in the rearview mirror... the kid who loved for love's sake, the boy who didn't care who saw him do something ridiculous, the man who wasn't afraid to cry.

This past week or so have been life changing... MORE than life changing. I've been torn down until I thought there was nothing left and then rebuilt with the love, tenderness, care, and understanding of people from literally all over the world who started as strangers and so quickly became family. I didn't know such a thing could happen in such a short period of time... or even at all. I've finally let go of being "Daniel Delphin" and on the very last night of my time with my new family received my new"playa" name of Dolphin... symbolizing the playful and free creature/soul that had been trying to get back to and that had been buried so deeply inside me under all the layers of "life".

And as I lay here in bed at 3 AM before getting up for a 6 AM flight back to my life in New York, I have to thank God/destiny/karma for reminding me what life is for... to smile, laugh, enjoy the company of true friends and family, to hug, to kiss, to care, to cry, to dance, to JUST BE. Daily life has kept me so caught up with the minute details of getting to the "light at the end of the tunnel" that I've forgotten to enjoy the ride through it... top down, hair blowing in the wind, with loved ones by my side, and a tune/beat we can all dance to together.

Maybe I don't need to get to that light... maybe the darkness of the tunnel isn't so dark at all... maybe I'm already exactly where I'm meant to be.

"I'm coming home, I'm coming home... tell the world I'm coming home. Let the rain, wash away, all the pain of yesterday. I know my kingdom awaits, and they've forgiven my mistakes. I'm coming home, coming home... tell the world I'm coming... home."

)'(

J.K. Rowling Commencement Speech

"It is impossible to live without failing at something unless you live so cautiously that you might as well have not lived at all, in which case you have failed by default."

Working long days/nights

I've been working long days/nights for the past little while trying to get projects completed and money brought in. While in the office, I stumbled upon a song by Tyga called "I'm Gone". I loved part of one of the verses so I figured I'd post it...

I say, fuck sleep stayed up
Fuck you, pay up
Always got the paycheck
Never took a pay cut
Payday will be worth all the broke nights I stayed up
So in my cup I'm mixing up whatever dreams are made of

pretty much exactly how I feel!

One day I'd like to be able to send this comic to someone special...

RIP Steve Jobs

An idol and role model... you will be remembered.

It's Never Too Late...

"For what its worth its never too late, to be whoever you wanna be. There's no time limit; start whenever you want. You can change or stay the same; There are no rules to this thing. You can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."

Benjamin Button
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - 2:23:08

Bridge Over Troubled Waters

A great, supportive song...

When you're weary
Feeling small
When tears are in your eyes
I will dry them all

I'm on your side
When times get rough
And friends just can't be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

When you're down and out
When you're on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you

I'll take your part
When darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

Sail on Silver Girl,
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way

See how they shine
If you need a friend
I'm sailing right behind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind

JC

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

Even with our fists held high
It never would've worked out right
We were never meant for do or die

I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hold you, now I can't stop

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you want to cry

Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so, I love you enough to let you go

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go

And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so I'm already gone

Already gone, already gone, already gone
Already gone, already gone, already gone, yeah

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so I'm already gone

Napoleon Hill Poem

I bargained with Life for a penny,
and Life would pay no more,
however I begged at evening
when I counted my scanty store.

For Life is a just employer,
He gives you what you ask,
but once you have set the wages,
why, you must bear the task.

I worked for a menial's hire,
only to learn, dismayed,
that any wage I had asked of Life,
Life would have willingly paid.

P90X - Day 3

P90X - Day 2

Sound quality sucks... I'll improve it next time I guess. Other then that... feeling good... and sore! :-)

P90X - Day 1

To the Journey...

Just read the valedictorian speech of a high school senior, in which the speaker puts down our education system as simply a means to train us to be human machines in a work force society has built to make life as safe as possible for the greatest number of people.

The speech puts forward, in an eloquent manner, a concept that I've believed for a long time. I've often said to those I'm trying to explain myself to that I "refuse to be an ant". I don't want to follow the same path that everyone else has and live a life where I labor from 9 to 5 on something I don't care about, doing work that almost anyone else could do, just so I can go home and prepare to do it again 5 days a week for the next several decades of my life. Happiness for me cannot just be the times and activities that surround the work day; ones which I can only afford and participate in because I make enough money through doing these monotonous jobs. Further, no increase in the cost of these types of activities can truly excite me or make me happy (as I've learned when I used to spend large amounts of money on silly things). Even if I'm working a job that I enjoy, I would still be bound to the restrictions of the company I worked for... doing only the things they approve of and only when they deem it okay. This goes for everything from making work related decisions to taking vacations.

Interestingly enough, though I've believed the above for a long time, my life's focus was still on doing work, albeit on my own ventures, in an attempt make a lot of money so I could be more free to do what I wanted when I wanted it. Now that's not a bad thing, but at the same time it really is just another incarnation of working at another company from 9 to 5 so that I can afford to enjoy my time off. This version however would increase my off hours to considerably more as I wouldn't need to work as much to make a lot of money (after starting a successful company and/or selling it). If I continued with this focus, I'd end up in the exact same spot I'd been in, in the past (bored and unhappy) but with more money...

Upon coming to this conclusion, I believe I've finally found the real meaning and reasoning behind something that I've heard many times before, but had never truly taken to heart:

"It is not the destination, but the journey."

Rather than focusing on an end goal that would supposedly make me happy beyond my wildest dreams, perhaps the better way is to make sure to maximize the enjoyment of my journey through life as much as I can. Sure there are bound to be unhappy times ahead but if I spend my time enjoying the path as much as possible I believe that at the end, even if I didn't make millions of dollars or I never became a household name as a great businessman, I will still be able to look back and think about how much fun I had doing the things I did (both for work and play) with the people I respected and cared about and how happy I was doing it. Sounds like success to me.

It's time to stop spending today dreaming of a better tomorrow and instead focus on enjoying today for everything that it is. This doesn't mean that I won't set goals and work to achieve them but more that I will make sure to take as much pleasure as possible from the work I'm doing on the path towards these goals. It's called living in (or being) present and its all I've really got for sure.

I leave you with this quote... one I've always been fond of and can now put even more value in:

"Someone once told me that time was a predator that stalked us all our lives. I rather believe that time is a companion who goes with us on the journey and reminds us to cherish every moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we've lived. After all, we're only mortal."

- Captain Jean-luc Picard (Star Trek Generations)

Today is...

It's 6:43 AM on a Monday morning and I'm 26 years old. Standing over the bathroom sink and looking at myself in the mirror, I realized something...

Today is the first time, in a very long time, that I'm happy with what I see and who I am.

:-)

Man in the Arena...

I read this quote a few years back in a blog post by Michael Arrington but only recently thought of it again. It gives me inspiration and reminds me every day that even my attempts themselves, though many times futile, are always worthwhile.

It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.

- Theodore Roosevelt

Life Trending Up?

While reading Delivering Happiness: A Path to Profits, Passion, and Purpose' by Tony Hsieh (CEO of Zappos, which was sold to Amazon.com recently) with Kindle on my Droid (which by the way is the best thing in the world... thought I'd never want to read on my phone but its amazing), I realized something.

In the beginning of the book, Tony goes through his childhood and the different entrepreneurial ventures he attempts, from worm farming, to button making, to Christmas card selling. He also tells about his involvement in activities that were out of the norm. I'm sure there will be more great stories ahead (haven't finished the book yet), but even this short list got me thinking about my childhood.

When I read books like this, I often compare myself to the author in an attempt to figure out whether I have the same mentality (which hopefully therefore puts me also on the path to success). This time was no different, except while searching my past for comparable things, I remembered some things I had forgotten.

Even when I was young, I had entrepreneural ambitions. I've always easily recalled the times of having a battle at the lunch table with my friend Jon Corbett over who was going to be more successful in life and the starting of Delphin Solutions and eventually DS410 LLC in college, but I had forgotten about the various things I had done between those memories.

Though I don't remember the age I was at the times, here are some examples of activities I particitated in:

- Walked around my apartment complex to sell gifts out of a catalog
- Made peanut butter balls from a kids cookbook recipe and sold them door to door
- Built my church's website
- Started the trend in middle school with Jon of doing the announcements in the morning over the PA system (Later, everyone wanted a chance to do this so we had to train others)
- Got to skip a full day of school to learn about the lighting board in the theater and be one of the very few people allowed to run it (for performances, etc)

This trend continued into high school, where I tried to start a web design company with classmates (Delphin Solutions) and then into college where I merged with Jon's company to create DS410 and hired my classmates as interns at my company.

I'm sure there have been plenty of other entrepreneural memories that I can't remember but that's all I've got for now.

It's comforting to know that I'm doing the types of things that other people who have been successful did and, though it doesn't guarentee success for me, it does make me feel good as my struggle continues to build new things and reach new heights. It reminds me of Steve Job's speech at Stanford about connecting the dots looking backwards in your life to see how you got to where you are (One of my favorites...See Here).

"So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever because believing that the dots will connect down the road with give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path, and that will make all the difference."

- Steve Jobs, Founder of Apple

Hopefully this trend continues as I push forward to success. I'll keep you posted. :-)

The other one...Michael Bolton Once in a lifetime ((New Moon)) lyrics.avi

Brings back old times... Vanessa Williams - The Sweetest Days