Quick Update

Only have time for a quick update. I can feel myself getting depressed again. Its not a good thing. The other day, I had the best day I've had in a long while but today I feel horrible. I recently passed the CCIE written and now only have the BSCI, and CIT to finish the CCNP up. Then I have 6 exams for the MCSE. This is gonna cost me a fortune and I just found out that my loan is more or less going to fall through so I don't know what I'm going to do about that. On another note, I'm not doing well at all in Diff Eq. I have sought the help of the TA though so hopefully that will turn things around.

Thinking ahead, I am unsure how excited I am about moving to NYC. My feelings about it seem to fluctuate up and down and to make matters worse, I don't know what's going on with Joe either, which will impact how I feel in NYC. Jon recently quit his job and started his own company again and I don't know if that's a good thing or not. I get job offers everyday for jobs in NYC but I need to finish this stupid degree and the certs before I'm of any real value.


Also, I've been wondering what will truly make me happy. Is it the whole club scene and my feelings around that, or is it a life with someone like Joe, or is it money? As of right now, I don't feel like anything would really make me happy, which may just be the depression kicking in. I'm tired of being this unhappy... I'm just tired in general. I feel a bit burned out and the semester is only half over (lucky for me considering my situation in Diff Eq). Eitherway, I'll leave you will a picture of Ryan and Matt (from my dorm) posing in a swing dance position.

Joe thought that this woman in the restaurant was in his english class! He's very drunk!

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Thinking of Joy

For some reason, in the middle of DB Systems class today, I started thinking of Joy (my old dog who passed away last year). I started remembering little things about her and my time with her that I don't want to forget about as time goes on like the fact that she hated being on her back and would never roll over, and the night she attempted to help prevent me from sliding down the hill in the snow when I was younger. She would always let me sleep on her when I was tired and always seem to understand me and the mood I was in. I don't remember having a connection like this with any other animal, and certainly not Chase (our current Dalmation). I feel horrible that I wasn't there when she died and that I didn't pay as much attention to her towards the end of her life. I just didn't realize that she wasn't going to be around much longer. I feel like she was waiting to see me one more time before she died and that I missed it because I was away in school. I feel like she didn't get much attention in general after I left for school. She was a calm, quiet, understanding dog that somehow seemed to communicate without speaking and I very much miss her and don't want to forget her. Its nice to know that I have the ornament that my mom and Kathy gave me for Christmas with the hand drawn picture of her on it.
I guess this just further reinforces my somewhat realization that time is ticking away and that I should take advantage of the time that I have with people and things that I care about before time runs out.

The good and the bad

So I finished my first week of classes. They went okay except for Diff Eq considering I missed a lecture and a recitation. I'm not happy about that, but I shouldn't suffer too from it (I hope). So on to the main topic of this post:

The Good: I'm happier at college then I have been any semester before. Friday night we (Joe, Matt, Ryan, and I) went to a movie and then played board games. This is more along the lines of how I thought college was supposed to be. Its just too bad that this is my last semester.

The Bad: I feel like I've lost part of myself. I feel like I used to be someone; a force to be rekoned with. But now I feel like more of a transient. I think it may partly be due to the amount of money that I make/have a the current moment (considering I'm a student) as well as the fact that I no longer have my company anymore. I miss my company and looking back, it seems like more of a dream then the actual past. I want to own one again but I guess that will have to wait for a while considering my current commitments (school, ActiveHost, Joe, etc).

Anyway, I have to go do some more hw.

First day of my last semester

So today was the my first day of classes for spring 2006. I am kinda graduating this semester though not really. I supposed it is possible to graduate at the end of this term, but I'd have to pass all my classes (DB systems, SDD, Diff Eq, Interface Design, and Web and DB programming), on top of getting my CCNP (still have the BCMSN though I'm working on it, the BSCI, and the CIT), and I would have to pass the written exam for the CCIE (100 multiple choice questions). Before I apply for a job, I'd want my MCSE, which means that if I am to get everything done that I want to, I'm going to be extreamly busy this semester. In addition to all that, I have resolved myself to working out regularly (I'm looking much better already) and taking a yoga class on a weekly basis. I am also supposed to work for ActiveHost (ActiveHost) for 20 hours each week. It's gonna be hard!

Eitherway, I got back from living in the city for a month, which was awesome. I stayed in Jackie's appt (thanks Jackie) and worked as an "intern" for Jon's company (thanks Jon). I met some new people at the company (Juan, Ed, Anthony, and Luke) whom I worked with everyday. I typically went out and partied Thurs though Sunday nights and worked out at least 3 times a week (including yoga). I felt very accomplished after setting my mind to going to a particular gym that I found online and actually doing it. It is an awesome gym (David Barton Gym) and I'm signed up for a membership starting this May (I got dec though Jan free). I'm looking forward to going back to the city once I finish school and with a higher paying job!!!

Eitherway, I'm gonna run now... oh yeah!!! The picture above is from our "24 Party". Well, it wasn't so much of a party really considering there were only 2 other people besides me, but it was still fun! Anyway, off to the gym with Matt!

long time... no writing

well.. its been a long time since the last entry. I'm not really gonna summerize all the time in between. I'm still at RPI and still with Joe, though that has been going on and off recently. Eitherway, I had several wonderful nights out this weekend in NYC:

Friday: Spirit... then XL... then Opileen (club shelter)
Saturday: Heaven (gay college party)
Sunday: Spirit

On sunday night, the original cast of the broadway musical RENT was at the club and sang and danced. It was awesome. I have some picture which I will attempt to post later. Also, I went hiking and am on this atkins diet which will hopefully get me in to wonderful shape... we'll see.
Eitherway, off to sleep.
Night!!!

Hiking with Jackie

Went hiking with Jackie. It was nice to get away from everything and talk things through with someone else. Not that there was anything particularly important to talk about but still. We kept choosing the harder trails and even went off-trail once in a while. Unfortunatly though, as we got near the top, Jon called and insisted that return his car immediatly, and as I was 2 hours away (which he didn't know at the time) Jackie and I had to fast track down the side of the mountain, hop in the car and speed back to NYC. Oh well. It was a fun day anyway. I should do this more often.

Original cast of RENT singing live at Spirit!!!

Lots to talk about... again

Again, a lot of time has passed with no update, which means that I must more or less summarize recent events.

Topics:

Joe - Things are going a bit better with Joe. We have been going to counciling, though a lot of the times I feel like we are in a better state before we go in because we are forced to talk things through as well as explain things to the therapist that the two of use have put behind us. This causes us to have little fights which I think are unnessicary. Things we did recently include going to the Altimont Fair, going out to Water Works multiple times (one time Joe got really drunk and I had to take him home), and other less intersting things. I guess things are coming along a bit with him but I still have the feeling that I am too young to be in a relationship like this, which might eventually win out.

RPI - I have recently moved back into my dorm room though without the majority of the stuff. This is the result of multiple things one of which is that I hate moving and I don't want to do it anymore. The main reason though is that if I don't bring stuff in to distract me, I'll be able to focus more on school which will make it go by faster and therefore me able to leave to got to NYC sooner. I think that's where I want to end up in the short term (after school). I have registered for all classes except french and Operating Systems, which I have been approved for but need the professors to sign the piece of paper. Classes start on Monday and as long as I continuously do well in them, I think I'll enjoy them, though Chem could be a killer (again, and again, and again... and this time it would be again).

Work - I now work for ActiveHost very part time, the RPI Union (as a sysadmin) part time, and CarXPC part time. I have been neglecting CarXPC a bit and need to get back on that. I think its mostly cause I've grown tired of waiting to hear about funding and everytime I ask Dave if we have a meeting with Verizon yet, he makes some joke, which pisses me off. In terms of the Union though, I recently fixed a lot of their problems including one involving MS Exchange and Active Directory... and on that note, I guess I'll announce that I am now officially a Microsoft Certified Proffessional (I got a new cert.), making my official signature Daniel Delphin, MCP, CCNA. It's nothing to brag about but I'm on my way. I find MS certs to be very very easy, especially when compared to Cisco. I'll have my MCSE soon enough.

Other - I'm currently down in Dobbs Ferry for my final "vacation" before school starts. Tonight, I got to hang out with Ian, who it turns out is even more whipped by his signficant other than I am... something that is hard to imagine. I was supposed to hang out with Jon, but he accidentally schedule a "seduction class" during most of the time I'll be home so I won't see him until tomorrow evening/night. It's ok though and I go back to RPI on Sunday morning/afternoon. On yeah... and I had an 2 hour convo with the GM and PU of my school and got appointed to a safety commitee that reports to the state of NY as to how safe RPI is. Watch out Mark Smith (dean of students)!!!

Anyway, time to ummmm, take a bath I think.

Night.

Anyway,

Lots has happened... not enough time

Lots has happened since last post so I'm going to sum it up in a list of points:

Past:
Went to the city to visit jon (see previous pics)
Went to two nice bars but they weren't very crowded on the weekdays
visited his office
decided NYC may not be as wonderful a place to live as I had thought

got back to Albany area and have been sleeping in ActiveHost Datacenter

Spoke with summer professors who okayed late work from me because of the robbery

Saw movies
Stealth
The Island
Must Like Dogs

Rented movie: Miss Congeniality 2

Watched 3rd and 2nd last episode of Queer as Folk

Moved into temp housing on RPI campus (Hunt III Room 1002)
Has A/C
Has suite bathroom

Spoke with RPI attorney and dean of students about compensation for safety issue
waiting to hear back

Switch my cell phone to my name
still need to get a new phone

bought a new t43 laptop for the fall and started the process to get a t42 loaner in the mean time

Future:
Am going to personal and couples counciling from 9 to 11 AM

Need to write 5 short papers, 2 research papers, read 14 chapters of history, take two midterms, and pass 3 cisco certifications before August 31st

Need to rework RPI class schedule

Present:
Am unhappy that many of my favorite TV series are ending
Queer As Folk
Star Trek --> don't know if there will be another series or any more movies

Need to sleep

Thats about it. I need to get some sleep so I can be up in <4 hours for couciling.

South Street Seaport

Skyline from Jon's Roof

Grand Central Station

On the way to the city...

Picture of the sunset on the way to the city.

Unbelievable...

Well... first things first. I was robbed! In the middle of the night I awoke to someone standing in the same room as me. I was too dazed to do anything about it quickly enough and they got away with my laptop, joe's wallet, and my wallet. Joe was very unhappy, as was I. We called the police and tried to call RPI public safety, but the RPI call box didn't work. I couldn't believe it. They advertise that these things are there to protect you and they don't even work. Later, Joe found my wallet down the street. We never found his or my laptop so I'll have to get another for school. I'm unsure how that will work currently.
All that happened Monday morning at 4:30. Since then, I've moved out of that appartment, fought a lot with Joe, and returned home (mom's house in Dobbs Ferry). I've taken off from work and school and am using this time to stabilize. Joe is concerned about me finding someone else and is lonely but suprisingly, as of this moment anyway, he's dealing with things suprisingly well.
Being down here and hanging out with Jon in the city has made me realize several things. Though this area is not bad at all, the city is not the amazing place that I've always thought it would be. I've tried to see what it would be like to live in the city and hang out with Jon but it seems like it would probably be pretty lonely, especially without Joe. The standard of living there is far lower then here as people are willing to pay upwards of $1000/month for a very small room (only big enough for a single bed) and shared used of common areas (which are also very small). For that same amount of money, I could have a whole appartment that was twice the size of the one he shares. The city also seem very lonely. I don't know if I'd just be able to make friends there. Everyone seems so busy, including Jackie who can't hang out with me because she's working on a project or something that is due soon. Maybe the moving to the city isn't such a great idea after all.
I keep realizing everything that I lost. All my pictures, my documents, my school work, all gone. On top of that, I lost a mouse and wireless card that I borrowed from the Union, and the Union keys. They were all in the laptop bag. Crap, I lost the wire to the cell phone for CarXPC too. Well thats nothign compared to everything else.
I miss Joe. I think I'm gonna go back sooner rather than later. I just don't know where I'm going back to. Maybe to live with Joe or Brandon until school starts again. I have to get a lot of school work done, find/buy some more school books, read and pass my cisco books, deal with registering for RPI and get a new laptop. Its a lot to do on top of doing everything I was doing before but I'm sure I'll get it done. Anyway, I'm off to read Business 2.0 and the tech news.

My Sister Rebecca

Pic of Joe

Isn't he cute?

This is Horrible

This is absolutly horrible. I haven't written a single word more on my papers since the last post. I waste such large amounts of time. I have to stop this. Purpose is the new word for my actions... at least that's what I'm going to try. Everything I do, I'll do with purpose to get it done and done well. That way, I spend as little time doing it and have more time for other things. The only thing is that I know that I'm bad at figuring out how long it will take me to do things. I'll have to work on that over the next little while. OK... so now I'm off to finish my descriptive paper that was due 2 weeks ago. I'm not going to stop until its done!

ActiveHost Datacenter

At work... on a Sunday

So I'm at work at ActiveHost on a Sunday. I have a million different things to do today including reading 7 more chapters for US History and writing 3 papers for English Comp II. Both these classes are the HVCC (Hudson Valley Community College). I'm going to get to that as soon as I'm done here. I also want to watch the new Queer as Folk considering it is the 3rd last episode of the entire show. I'm going to miss it when its gone. Brian Kinney was always an inspiration to me regardless of all the fucking he did. Joe will probably be done from work around 5:00 and will want to hang out but I won't be able to until at least my papers are done. He said something yesterday that really got to me. It went something along the lines of, "You always say how you think it is going to be and it never ends up that way." Thinking about that, it may be true. I think I live very much in how it will be instead of how it is... maybe because how it is isn't good enough right now. Making $25K at a job that I should make at least twice that is a bummer and the only thing to look forward to is the CarXPC deal with Verizon, which may or may not happen. I've also decided that I'm going back to school in the fall again, contrary to what I thought before. I've already wasted so much money on that degree ($70K) so what is another 13? I figure if I don't finish it now, I never will and I don't want to be held back in life. Anyway, I'll put some general pictures up from my life until everything is caught up and then its time to go work. I figure I'll be able to make use of the digital camera that my mom got me 2 Christmases ago before it become completely outdated and that I it will be a good way to chronicle my life.



This is Joe... my boyfriend of almost 1 year now (will be August 7, 2005). He currently works for the state during the week and Johnny Rockets on the weekend. Soon though, he is quitting his state job to start an internship at a local Zoo. I'll have to get some pictures of the animals he works with up here.





This is my current car. It's a 93 Geo Prism. It runs really well, but is now approaching 100,000 miles which means that I'll probably have to replace a lot of parts in it soon. I also recently got a small crack in the windshield from being very unlucky and having a rock hit while driving on the highway. I tried reparing it myself but didn't do a very good job. Oh well.



Back to work now... I have to at least get the three essays due tomorrow done... and then maybe some reading.