I feel... strange

Something strange happened in my dream last night. I don't remember all of it, only bits and pieces but I still felt the feeling from it all the way to work (CarXPC).

The dream involved Todd (my ex-bf) a couple years ago. I was traveling around to different places by train (France was definatly one of them), and all of a sudden he just appeared out of no where. I remember knowing in the dream that he was supposed to be away in the army, but after asking him about it, he seemed to shrug it off. We then went into some stores for a short time and I felt feeling I had previously when I was with him (while awake). It was amazing. Later, however, he disappeared and I couldn't find him. Eventually, he called on the cell and told me that he didn't really like me again but that he had used me and now had a GF (for some reason I didn't believe him and knew he was not completely telling the truth but was slightly being nasty, and yet at the same time, I could still feel the love that we had). I ended up seeing him at least one more time in the dream and then I woke up and the dream was over.

I woke up missing him and remembering how I felt with him. Its strange, but it made me think about things with Joe (current BF) and that even when we weren't fighting, I have never felt the way I did with Todd, with him. It's strange. I want that feeling again. That feeling of being similar with them (interested in computers) and the idea that they have some thing to teach me. I want that feeling again and I don't know it will happen with Joe, and today while feeling that old feeling from Todd, the thought came across that I was settling for somthing rather then finding the one I really want. And now I have the rest of the waking day to think about that, and accomplish things.

I'm gonna start working now.
See ya

No comments: