Break it down now... (2 day entry)

So I've broken my issues down a bit. For starters, the joe issue is really 2 issues. The first one is about the relationship in general and whether I'm ready for it. The second one is about money. I need to make a decision on the first question before I can move on to the second.

My job is another issue. I go back and forth about how I feel about my job. Sometimes I'm really happy while other times, I'm pissed and stressed. For this issue, its really about the money and how quickly I can make more. We're about to do a $250,000 deal and yet I don't feel like my cut will really be that much. To make as much as I could start at with another job would probably take me well over a year.

... (continued the next day) ...

So I don't know what to do about that (the job). And these are the things I need to think about and make decisions about. Which bring me to a Warrior of the Light quote:

"The Warrior of the Light is terrified when making imporant decisions. 'This is too much for you,' says a friend. 'Go on, be brave,' says another. And so his doubts grow. After some days of anxiety, he withdraws to the corner of his tent where he usually sits to meditate and pray. He sees himself in the future. He sees the people who will benefit or be harmed by his attitude. He does not want to cause pointless suffering, but nor does he want to abondon the path.

The Warrior of the Light allows the decision to reveal itself. If he has to say 'yes', he will say it bravely. If he has to say 'no', he will say it without a trace of cowardice."

After talking with Ben Leibig, I have also come to like some poems about love and marriage in a book called "The Prophet" by Kahlil Gibran. One phrase in particular caught my attention when it was discussing relationships:

"Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow"

I think this would be good advice to follow with joe and for him to understand as well. I think I'll recommend he read that poem.

I also found a list of 11 rule about life that Bill Gates supposedly tried to teach a graduating High School class through a speech:

Life is not fair - get used to it.

The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world
will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel
good about yourself.

You will NOT make 40 thousand dollars a year right out
of high school. You won't be a vice president with
car phone, until you earn both.

If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a
boss. He doesn't have tenure.

Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your
grandparents had a different word for burger flipping
called it Opportunity.

If you mess up,it's not your parents' fault, so don't
whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as
they are now. They got that way from paying your bills,
cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about
how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest
from the parasites of your parent's generation, try
delousing the closet in your own room.

Your school may have done away with winners and losers,
but life has not. In some schools they have abolished
failing grades and they'll give you as many times as
you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the
slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get
summers off and very few employers are interested in
helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

Television is NOT real life. In real life people
actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for

I'm going to make an effor with things again. Dave (from Citadel... my current company) made a point today which stuck in my head. He suggested that everyday that I give my all builds up my own personal integrety and allows me to feel good knowing that I am doing the best that I can. I am going to start trying to do this and looking for patterns and methods of performing at the best of my abilities.

Anyway, that's all for now.

Daniel Delphin, CCNP, MCSE

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