Dream has ended...
So its over. I'm still in South Beach, Miami but its over. I have to pack and get ready to go. But before I do, I wanted to get this out and describe the dream before its completly gone. I don't wanna type out a long and descriptive story so I'm just gonna list out the points that I don't want to forget. I'm gonna keep it PG though but references to help me remember things will be made so if you don't understand what something means, its not for you, its for me.
- Took 4.5 days for me to let go of New York. Thurs was my first.
- Flute guy... nasty apt...CJs..."Buy me an Macbook Pro"
- Bought new bathing suits that I can't wear again
- bought new clothing
- went out with people I had met here, Jonathan, Cesar, Josh, Mike... I think there might have been a Chris too.
- Spent a wad of money that night (literally a wad... I think I had a money clip full of $400 when I started and $20 when it ended)
- Prior to thurs, had funny nights with April and Jon but it was brief and I hadn't let go... DIVIL!!!!
- Then Friday came and I almost didn't go out. I slept late, and almost didn't get out of bed at 10pm when it was time to go out. Would have been a MAJOR MISTAKE IF I HADN'T... because that night I MET ZACK FROM NEW YORK. YES its true... I did (See pic above). He was just sitting outside of Score with his friend and he recognized me.
- I have been without Zack for now more than 5 hours up to this point... we PARTIED the rest of that night away. He got amazingly drunk, etc as did I.
- Went back to his friends place where he was staying (Eduardo)
- Most beautiful Apt I've ever seen.... South Point
- Zack is ROUGH.... ROUGH.... ROUGH... HAIR
- I'm in heaven
- Massage... Loose...A&F...MANLY... gum on pants... crying... yes crying... but needed a reason to get out
- BAAAADDDD hangover for everyone the next day (yesterday)... food at big pinks... talk a lot to zack though...de-tassled corn in blue jean overalls in Indiana as his first job... BF not treating him correctly but has a pretty face so Zack won't get rid of him... zack is considering moving to Colorado with him (stupid move... but I don't say it to him soo harshly... maybe I did... oh well)... Hair grows thick and has to be cut every two weeks...past BFs were "Crazy"... Zack is physically violent with past BFs...
- Visit him at work (Pinocchios)...$50 tip... Upset because I've become attached... replaced clothing... addidas shirts (I Addidas Rome, I Addidas Girls... in Pink!)... Puma shoes...USER! but that's to be expected... I've already made the decision to let it be that way to extend the time... sad but necessary.
- Wait what seems like forever as he goes home to change and falls asleep. He comes over finally... FUNNY... back to Score!... We drink continuously... I LOSE AN HOUR!!! UNBELIEVEABLE!... THE SPEAKER IS AMAZING AND I DON'T KNOW WHY! I spend about 2 hours just sitting on it and watching zack dance for a couple seconds and then he goes off to meet others... I'm somehow in the music with the beat... not listening to it... IN IT... I AM THE MUSIC...Club closes at 5. Zack is trashed! Talks to everyone... learn more about him... LOVES HIS OWN ASS... would not need a man if he could only have IT... We have pizza and zack rambles to other people... kid is hungry... bf thinks he's too gay...poor boy... we take a taxi back to his place and pass out on the air mattress.
- Today we wake up... try to exchange his shirt but decides not to... CVS... back to jon's apt for a picture (the one above)...gatorade on the floor of the elevator... say goodbye... watch him disappear down the street... heart sinks...really sinks... Go up to the roof with IPOD and listen to flute...laughing and crying at the same time... the wind through my fingers... realizing the dream is slipping away and I can't hold on to it... it slips and slips and eventually...its gone... I'm back to old Dan... I can't be Divil full time... its not possible and I wouldn't accomplish my dreams... but sometimes... on vacation... its necessary to let go... be free... experience life... because no amount of "planned vacation activites" can top what I've done/how I've felt in the past 3 days... any attempt to stay here would break things...I'd have to give me up...and I can't do that...I'm just stuck... but I'll visit this happy place again... not miami necessarily... but this experience...
- Life has looped around for me... as it always does and its amazing... and I appreciate it.
I know I'm gonna want to add more after I stop writing this... but I could go on forever trying to note down everything.... as you can see though, Zak played a huge role in my happiness here...which is a good thing... but I was also happy other times...maybe I'll compile my IMhere entries, twitter updates, and txts to people to get a data-wide view of the trip but that will take some time... until then...Goodbye Zach... goodbye south beach... Goodbye Zach(again).... and goodbye Divil.
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