The Giving Tree (Audio Book) by Shel Silverstein
Once there was a tree...and she loved a little boy.
And every day the boy would come and he would gather her leaves and make them into crowns and play king of the forest.
He would climb up her trunk and swing from her branches and eat apples.
And they would play hide-and-go-seek.
And when he was tired, he would sleep in her shade.
And the boy loved the tree ... very much.
And the tree was happy.
Front cover
But time went by.
And the boy grew older.
And the tree was often alone.
Then one day the boy came to the tree and the tree said, "Come, Boy, come and climb up my trunk and swing from my branches and eat apples and play in my shade and be happy."
"I am too big to climb and play," said the boy.
"I want to buy things and have fun. I want some money. Can you give me some money?"
"I'm sorry," said the tree, "but I have no money. I have only leaves and apples. Take my apples, Boy, and sell them in the city. Then you will have money and you will be happy."
And so the boy climbed up the tree and gathered her apples and carried them away.
And the tree was happy.
But the boy stayed away for a long time ...and the tree was sad.
And then one day the boy came back and the tree shook with joy and she said, "Come, Boy, climb up my trunk and swing from my branches and be happy."
"I am too busy to climb trees," said the boy.
"I want a house to keep me warm," he said.
"I want a wife and I want children, and so I need a house. Can you give me a house?"
“I have no house," said the tree.
"The forest is my house, but you may cut off my branches and build a house. Then you will be happy."
And so the boy cut off her branches and carried them away to build his house.
And the tree was happy.
But the boy stayed away for a long time. And when he came back, the tree was so happy she could hardly speak.
"Come, Boy," she whispered, "come and play."
"I am too old and sad to play," said the boy.
"I want a boat that will take me far away from here. Can you give me a boat?"
"Cut down my trunk and make a boat." said the tree. "Then you can sail away ... and be happy."
And so the boy cut down her trunk and made a boat and sailed away.
And the tree was happy ... but not really.
Rear cover
And after a long time the boy came back again.
"I am sorry, Boy," said the tree, "but I have nothing left to give you, my apples are gone."
"My teeth are too weak for apples", said the boy.
"My branches are gone", said the tree. "You cannot swing on them -"
"I am too old to swing on branches," said the boy.
"My trunk is gone," said the tree. "You cannot climb -"
"I am too tired to climb," said the boy.
"I am sorry," sighed the tree. I wish that I could give you something...but I have nothing left. I am just an old stump. I am sorry...."
"I don't need very much now," said the boy,
"Just a quiet place to sit and rest. I am very tired."
"Well," said the tree, straightening herself up as much as she could,
"Well, an old stump is good for sitting and resting. Come, Boy, sit down. Sit down and rest."
And the boy did.
And the tree was happy.
6.13.2009
4.24.2009
The Five Laws of Stratospheric Success
For future reference for you and for me, the following are the 5 Laws of Stratospheric Success from the book, The Go-Giver by Bob Burg and John David Mann. I believe the laws themselves are quite powerful but it the understanding of them gotten from the book that really brings out the results, so go get the book!
The Law of Value:
Your true worth is determined by how much more you give in value than you take in payment.
The Law of Compensation:
Your income is determined by how many people you serve and how well you serve them.
The Law of Influence:
Your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people's interests first.
The Law of Authenticity:
The most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself.
The Law of Receptivity:
The key to effective giving is to stay open to receiving.
The Law of Value:
Your true worth is determined by how much more you give in value than you take in payment.
The Law of Compensation:
Your income is determined by how many people you serve and how well you serve them.
The Law of Influence:
Your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people's interests first.
The Law of Authenticity:
The most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself.
The Law of Receptivity:
The key to effective giving is to stay open to receiving.
4.13.2009
Who's there...
Its normally very easy for people to identify and help correct problems in other's lives... to be there when they ask for help. Its not so often that we're able to see our own problems. Now, I'm not gonna say that I can see all mine but I certainly feel like I've had a major revelation about them... and its really REALLY not looking good...
To be completely honest, I see now what I'm doing and know why I'm doing it and I just can't stop...
I hide... whether its by partying, or saying I have too much work (I do have a lot of work), or sleeping, or watching tv... or try to fix other people's issues and problems... I'm hiding.... hiding from what I feel I'm supposed to be doing... what I'm supposed to become... hiding from fixing myself...and I can't stop it. ... I am horribly horribly broken...
Everyday I wake up and say I want to make a difference... I want to do something amazing today... every day... and then something happens or I put it off or and I just don't do it... and then I say tomorrow...
The thing is, its always tomorrow... I'm NOT lazy... I want so much to do things, to be someone... but every day goes by and I've done nothing meaningful... and thats just the half of it...
At night I beat myself up... I get upset at myself for not doing anything... horribly beat myself up... there's only so many times you can say next time until you stop believing it yourself... I think I'm there. The thing is, I can't give up... so it turns into an endless cycle of trying to do something, not doing things, and then beating myself up for it. I honestly don't know how much longer I can take it...
And the thing is, I honestly don't think you could tell all this was going on if you knew me... but I know... I'm tired... tired of trying and failing, tired of not trying and beating myself up... tired of pushing people away because I have to "work"... On the outside I seem happy and fun and caring and successful... but on the inside I'm dying... really dying... and I don't know what to do. I can hide from everything... but I can't hide from myself, from the thoughts of how much of a failure I am... and how much more of one I'm becoming. I don't know how to fix this... I think it may be too late... but there's no reset button on life... there's just the end... and I can feel it coming... I may even hope its coming. And the worst part of it all is... in 10 minutes my disguise will come back and everything will of a sudden "be ok". Back into hiding... Well at least I've gotten it out... somewhere.
I lay alone awake at night
Sorrow fills my eyes
But I’m not strong enough to cry
Despite of my disguise
I’m left with no shoulder
But everyone wants to lean on me.
I guess I’m their soldier.
Well, who’s gonna be mine
Who’s there to save the hero
When he’s left all alone
And he’s crying out for help.
Who’s there to save the hero
Who’s there to save the boy…
After he saves the world
After he saves the world.
I bottle all my hurt inside,
I guess I’m living a lie.
Inside my mind each day I die
What can bring me back to life?
A simple word, a gesture
Someone to say you’re beautiful
Come find this buried treasure
Rainbows lead to a pot of gold.
Who’s there to save the hero
When he’s left all alone
And he’s crying out for help
Who’s there to save the hero
Who’s there to save the boy
After he saves the world…
After he saves the world.
I’ve given too much of myself
And now it’s driving me crazy
(I’m crying out for help?
Sometimes I wish someone would
Just come here and save me…
Save me from myself
Who’s there to save the hero
When he’s left all alone
And he’s crying out for help
Who’s there to save the hero
Who’s there to save the boy
After he saves the world…
After he saves the world.
To be completely honest, I see now what I'm doing and know why I'm doing it and I just can't stop...
I hide... whether its by partying, or saying I have too much work (I do have a lot of work), or sleeping, or watching tv... or try to fix other people's issues and problems... I'm hiding.... hiding from what I feel I'm supposed to be doing... what I'm supposed to become... hiding from fixing myself...and I can't stop it. ... I am horribly horribly broken...
Everyday I wake up and say I want to make a difference... I want to do something amazing today... every day... and then something happens or I put it off or and I just don't do it... and then I say tomorrow...
The thing is, its always tomorrow... I'm NOT lazy... I want so much to do things, to be someone... but every day goes by and I've done nothing meaningful... and thats just the half of it...
At night I beat myself up... I get upset at myself for not doing anything... horribly beat myself up... there's only so many times you can say next time until you stop believing it yourself... I think I'm there. The thing is, I can't give up... so it turns into an endless cycle of trying to do something, not doing things, and then beating myself up for it. I honestly don't know how much longer I can take it...
And the thing is, I honestly don't think you could tell all this was going on if you knew me... but I know... I'm tired... tired of trying and failing, tired of not trying and beating myself up... tired of pushing people away because I have to "work"... On the outside I seem happy and fun and caring and successful... but on the inside I'm dying... really dying... and I don't know what to do. I can hide from everything... but I can't hide from myself, from the thoughts of how much of a failure I am... and how much more of one I'm becoming. I don't know how to fix this... I think it may be too late... but there's no reset button on life... there's just the end... and I can feel it coming... I may even hope its coming. And the worst part of it all is... in 10 minutes my disguise will come back and everything will of a sudden "be ok". Back into hiding... Well at least I've gotten it out... somewhere.
I lay alone awake at night
Sorrow fills my eyes
But I’m not strong enough to cry
Despite of my disguise
I’m left with no shoulder
But everyone wants to lean on me.
I guess I’m their soldier.
Well, who’s gonna be mine
Who’s there to save the hero
When he’s left all alone
And he’s crying out for help.
Who’s there to save the hero
Who’s there to save the boy…
After he saves the world
After he saves the world.
I bottle all my hurt inside,
I guess I’m living a lie.
Inside my mind each day I die
What can bring me back to life?
A simple word, a gesture
Someone to say you’re beautiful
Come find this buried treasure
Rainbows lead to a pot of gold.
Who’s there to save the hero
When he’s left all alone
And he’s crying out for help
Who’s there to save the hero
Who’s there to save the boy
After he saves the world…
After he saves the world.
I’ve given too much of myself
And now it’s driving me crazy
(I’m crying out for help?
Sometimes I wish someone would
Just come here and save me…
Save me from myself
Who’s there to save the hero
When he’s left all alone
And he’s crying out for help
Who’s there to save the hero
Who’s there to save the boy
After he saves the world…
After he saves the world.
3.19.2009
The Absolute Truth...
This post is directed at someone... that person will probably never see it because we're not speaking right now and I don't think he knows about this blog. I just wanted to capture and make public how I feel about him.
This is to him...
This is to him...
On the most recent episode of House MD, there was a patient who could only tell the truth due to a condition. I wish I had that condition and that you were around because if I did, I'd tell you how much I love you and how much I miss you and how much of a mistake it was to do what I did and how I'm scared that I'll never ever find someone like you who treated me so well again, ever... and how amazed I am of you and what you've accomplished and where you're going... and how much I want you back even though you've moved on... and you'd have to believe me because I wouldn't be able to lie and you'd know for sure just how much I love you.
3.18.2009
Remembering Miami...
So... This blog entry is mostly for me... not so much for readers (unless you were there with me)... I aim to capture as much as I can from the trip and afterwards so that I can come back and remember it. Some things may seem cryptic to readers, mostly because I want to remember them but don't want you to know the specific details...
Went to Miami beach from Feb 26th through March 15th... was there with Brandon Propst (the Gay Dragon)... daily schedule was wake up, beach, drink, beach, bar, eat a bit, drag show or other activity, home to change for going out, bar/club til 4am or later, home to pass out... start again.
This schedule started after the winter party and ended the day before I left. The Winter Party itself was a lot of fun... saw Chris Ryan and group, Dane (my ex-roommate), and soccer buddies. Met some new people Shane and Kevin.... Present from Dragon on Table... TOO MUCH!... Had fun watching the fire spinners at discotekka, at pool party, at HOT Park West with Brian and dancing under the sun next to Ajuna's replacement to Gravity and Halo remixes.
After Winter Party was over, it got a bit quieter (minus the daily morning wake up calls). Showtunes duets! Came out to Tickle Lady for dragon, extra money for him. Brandon and I established ourselves as semi-perminent residents at Palace bar and started hanging with Enrique and Nelson (bartenders there). SHOTS (spin the fingers)! We moved up from cups of alcohol to pitchers of alcohol (with lots of straws and cherries in them), and shots in between. Canadian avoidence. Drunken laptop shopping!
Omer came into town to stay with us... hawse hawse hawse... he was on the hunt from the very beginning... and though initially he wasn't satsified with the crowd, he managed to find some people to entertain him. Our trips to Palace continued after beach vists... we also met up with Danny (from NYC who had moved down there) and went to Buck 15 on thurs (where we started cut the line using $20)... Canadian fortune telling and me on the couch... and Living Room in Ft. Lauderdale on the next day... bad experience driving back but made it... Jon came into town... and joined us at Discotekka, where we got bottle service in our own VIP section (away from the other VIPers and down near the dance floor)... they had run out of VIP space and we made them create our own. Had an amazing time... it was the Britney Spears after-party. We loved the music, minus the fog horn blasts. THIS... IS.... MIAMI!!!!! Thank you Dragon for saving the night and me from HSBC. :-)
The week started again on Sunday and we resumed our normal routine. Omer and Jon gone. Met on the beach with Charlie, Mike, Anthony (kitty litter) and Tits and spent the rest of the time mostly with them. Dave and his boy Kurt showed up mid-week and we had fun with them too... showed him what Rush could be like HOT ASS CONTEST WON BY DRAGON.... Chicken fights...brandon horizontal, the haha game... football distance and left handed... Palace and personal bathroom in surf shop.... REALLY GUYS?, REALLY? ... Anthony with bartender at Twist. Tits last night at Score and me ANGRY...Discussion with Dragon about past... Diego met on the beach... Outback... paraho, parabaho, encentro, inventro, Too loud and business card on door... Twist... Magic tricks (beer, then bottle) VIP at Twist... $100 for random Halo on tab close... diego fiasco... Dragon unhappy and trashed.
Normal schedule... Tits gone, Cynthia arrives... Kumar found on beach, Enzo on beach, Ultimate frisbee turns into two-hand touch. Our own drag show from Nelson... FIREWORKS!!!... Robbie and Joe arrive... no buck 15 for them, met southern boy... VIP entry and bottle service for us (Grey Goose and Kettle)! Upside down dancing from the ceiling... Dragon on Cynthia and her on Dragon... Upside down slip, fall, handstand, so HA.... LOSE Kumar, WHOHOO! Twist, $125 tip for future Halo play to Karlos.
Friday, beach, plunger, Robbie and Joe... hookah, Doctors from England...Palace... Uppo, Downo, Outo, inno! ...drag show with Marilyn Manson with Nipples, Danny late... My Prediction... Danny rolling drop off... HIT AND RUN... MAJOR FIGHT WITH THE DRAGON, can't talk or move, Dragon almost Zacked!Score... little by little, Dragon on the side, twist, almost Halo, Dragon upset and trashed, Charlie brings him home. Concerned and sprint down washington and ocean, Dragon OK.
Saturday, No alcohol... Jet skiing with Robbie and (thank you Dragon!) ball breaking and ass pounding, 5 feet vertical, nice houses on island, statue, kids birthday party, switch postions... bad sandwiches... beach, limo and club arrangments, drag show at Palace, American Apparel and tickle request by me... Home, quick change, uppo downno outto inno drunko limo clubo gonoooooo :)... uppo downno outto inno ditto brando :)... back at palace, everyone late... Danny non-existant... Limo pickup (excursion)... PARTY!!! Loop around club... Arrive at Discotekka, MAJOR PROBLEMS, paid off everyone to finally get it right... but can't let stress go... can't let stress go, no roll, nelson and bf pick up by limo... limo flat, robbie and joe home in stretch towncar, Hummer Limo arrives, got til 6.... "take care of the dragon for me"... dragon danceing, party til 5... drop off everyone... just dragon and me.
Beach with drink, talking, poems in arms (If, Success, starfish-"It made a difference for that one.")... Halo, Ave Maria, sunrise, home to sleep. Robbie and Joe gone... Dragon and I on beach, no drinks just talk... tell me something interesting... Chick flicks...The Notebook... "I think this will happen again"... rush to pack, find a taxi with Brit....goodbye :-( ... plane with space shuttle launch, turbulence.
Next night, wakeup, last Miami Halo (whole song)... Thank you Dragon... miss you and Miami...
I have never had an experience like this one in Miami, shared payment and closeness. Blown away by it and the understanding of why by both... glimmers, "This is to have succeeded"... I appreciate that time I've had with the Dragon and hope/believe we'll have it again some time in the future. Will be happy to see the Dragon next Sunday/Monday.
I have left parts of this out and as they come to me, I will add them in another color.
If you're friends with me on FB, Check out my pictures and vids from my profile during the trip dates. Wish I could post them all here but there are too many... may be able to do it later.
Went to Miami beach from Feb 26th through March 15th... was there with Brandon Propst (the Gay Dragon)... daily schedule was wake up, beach, drink, beach, bar, eat a bit, drag show or other activity, home to change for going out, bar/club til 4am or later, home to pass out... start again.
This schedule started after the winter party and ended the day before I left. The Winter Party itself was a lot of fun... saw Chris Ryan and group, Dane (my ex-roommate), and soccer buddies. Met some new people Shane and Kevin.... Present from Dragon on Table... TOO MUCH!... Had fun watching the fire spinners at discotekka, at pool party, at HOT Park West with Brian and dancing under the sun next to Ajuna's replacement to Gravity and Halo remixes.
After Winter Party was over, it got a bit quieter (minus the daily morning wake up calls). Showtunes duets! Came out to Tickle Lady for dragon, extra money for him. Brandon and I established ourselves as semi-perminent residents at Palace bar and started hanging with Enrique and Nelson (bartenders there). SHOTS (spin the fingers)! We moved up from cups of alcohol to pitchers of alcohol (with lots of straws and cherries in them), and shots in between. Canadian avoidence. Drunken laptop shopping!
Omer came into town to stay with us... hawse hawse hawse... he was on the hunt from the very beginning... and though initially he wasn't satsified with the crowd, he managed to find some people to entertain him. Our trips to Palace continued after beach vists... we also met up with Danny (from NYC who had moved down there) and went to Buck 15 on thurs (where we started cut the line using $20)... Canadian fortune telling and me on the couch... and Living Room in Ft. Lauderdale on the next day... bad experience driving back but made it... Jon came into town... and joined us at Discotekka, where we got bottle service in our own VIP section (away from the other VIPers and down near the dance floor)... they had run out of VIP space and we made them create our own. Had an amazing time... it was the Britney Spears after-party. We loved the music, minus the fog horn blasts. THIS... IS.... MIAMI!!!!! Thank you Dragon for saving the night and me from HSBC. :-)
The week started again on Sunday and we resumed our normal routine. Omer and Jon gone. Met on the beach with Charlie, Mike, Anthony (kitty litter) and Tits and spent the rest of the time mostly with them. Dave and his boy Kurt showed up mid-week and we had fun with them too... showed him what Rush could be like HOT ASS CONTEST WON BY DRAGON.... Chicken fights...brandon horizontal, the haha game... football distance and left handed... Palace and personal bathroom in surf shop.... REALLY GUYS?, REALLY? ... Anthony with bartender at Twist. Tits last night at Score and me ANGRY...Discussion with Dragon about past... Diego met on the beach... Outback... paraho, parabaho, encentro, inventro, Too loud and business card on door... Twist... Magic tricks (beer, then bottle) VIP at Twist... $100 for random Halo on tab close... diego fiasco... Dragon unhappy and trashed.
Normal schedule... Tits gone, Cynthia arrives... Kumar found on beach, Enzo on beach, Ultimate frisbee turns into two-hand touch. Our own drag show from Nelson... FIREWORKS!!!... Robbie and Joe arrive... no buck 15 for them, met southern boy... VIP entry and bottle service for us (Grey Goose and Kettle)! Upside down dancing from the ceiling... Dragon on Cynthia and her on Dragon... Upside down slip, fall, handstand, so HA.... LOSE Kumar, WHOHOO! Twist, $125 tip for future Halo play to Karlos.
Friday, beach, plunger, Robbie and Joe... hookah, Doctors from England...Palace... Uppo, Downo, Outo, inno! ...drag show with Marilyn Manson with Nipples, Danny late... My Prediction... Danny rolling drop off... HIT AND RUN... MAJOR FIGHT WITH THE DRAGON, can't talk or move, Dragon almost Zacked!Score... little by little, Dragon on the side, twist, almost Halo, Dragon upset and trashed, Charlie brings him home. Concerned and sprint down washington and ocean, Dragon OK.
Saturday, No alcohol... Jet skiing with Robbie and (thank you Dragon!) ball breaking and ass pounding, 5 feet vertical, nice houses on island, statue, kids birthday party, switch postions... bad sandwiches... beach, limo and club arrangments, drag show at Palace, American Apparel and tickle request by me... Home, quick change, uppo downno outto inno drunko limo clubo gonoooooo :)... uppo downno outto inno ditto brando :)... back at palace, everyone late... Danny non-existant... Limo pickup (excursion)... PARTY!!! Loop around club... Arrive at Discotekka, MAJOR PROBLEMS, paid off everyone to finally get it right... but can't let stress go... can't let stress go, no roll, nelson and bf pick up by limo... limo flat, robbie and joe home in stretch towncar, Hummer Limo arrives, got til 6.... "take care of the dragon for me"... dragon danceing, party til 5... drop off everyone... just dragon and me.
Beach with drink, talking, poems in arms (If, Success, starfish-"It made a difference for that one.")... Halo, Ave Maria, sunrise, home to sleep. Robbie and Joe gone... Dragon and I on beach, no drinks just talk... tell me something interesting... Chick flicks...The Notebook... "I think this will happen again"... rush to pack, find a taxi with Brit....goodbye :-( ... plane with space shuttle launch, turbulence.
Next night, wakeup, last Miami Halo (whole song)... Thank you Dragon... miss you and Miami...
I have never had an experience like this one in Miami, shared payment and closeness. Blown away by it and the understanding of why by both... glimmers, "This is to have succeeded"... I appreciate that time I've had with the Dragon and hope/believe we'll have it again some time in the future. Will be happy to see the Dragon next Sunday/Monday.
I have left parts of this out and as they come to me, I will add them in another color.
If you're friends with me on FB, Check out my pictures and vids from my profile during the trip dates. Wish I could post them all here but there are too many... may be able to do it later.
2.06.2009
The Winner Stands Alone
Just read a great and inspiring quote from Paulo Coelho's new book, "The Winner Stands Alone". Check out the full book which he is posting chapter by chapter in his blog at http://paulocoelhoblog.com/
‘Do you know anything about frogs?’
‘Frogs?’
‘Yes, various biological studies have shown that if a frog is placed in a container along with water from its own pond, it will remain there, utterly still, while the water is slowly heated up. The frog doesn’t react to the gradual increase in temperature, to the changes in its environment, and when the water reaches boiling point, the frog dies, fat and happy.
‘On the other hand, if a frog is thrown into a container full of already boiling water, it will jump straight out again, scalded, but alive!’
Olivia doesn’t quite see what this has to do with the destruction of the world. Igor goes on:
‘I was like that boiled frog. I didn’t notice the changes. I thought everything was fine, that the bad things would just go away, that it was just a matter of time. I was ready to die because I lost the most important thing in my life but, instead of reacting, I sat there bobbing apathetically about in water that was getting hotter by the minute.’
Olivia plucks up the courage to ask:
‘What did you lose?’
‘The truth is I didn’t lose anything. Life sometimes separates people so that they can realise how much they mean to each other. For example, last night, I saw my wife with another man. I know she wants to come back to me, that she still loves me, but she’s not brave enough to take the first step. Some boiled frogs still think it’s obedience that counts, not ability: those who can, lead, and those with any sense, obey. So where’s the truth in all this? It’s better to emerge from a situation slightly scalded, but alive and ready to act.'
WoW, Google Latitude, and Life
My WoW character Shlaric (level 18 Night Elf Druid)
Video Blog Notes:
World of Warcraft
- Highly addictive
- So many places to visit
- So many things to do
- level
- quests (of different types)
- dungeons
- PvP
- Expansions
- Achievements
- Talents
- Professions
- And then you get to do it all over again but completely differently!
Latitude
- Now on Google Latitude --> buddyboy2006@gmail.com
Life
- Working a lot... must get out of IT... can't stand dealing with peoples problems all day
- Update on drinking ban date
- Been going to the gym... not as much as I'd like but still losing fat
- Run 3K per day and swim
- FundMii work --> Http://www.fundmii.com
- Put Impaytient on hold
Interesting Idea
- Utility that creates easy table of context and index of Video
1.24.2009
1.18.2009
Resolution: 1 Month Ban on Drinking
Just a quick post...I have come to the realization that drinking causes many of my problems and results in me being generally unhappy. In an effort to complete FundMii and get it launched as well as to be generally happier, I have decided the following:
I will not drink from this point until February 27th, 2009 (the day I go on vacation to Miami).
I expect that this decision will cause me to be more productive, allow me to save money, and be a generally happier person.
That is all!
1.12.2009
Video Post #3
Video blog #3
Topic:
- Find video much easier than typing.. can get it done much faster but...
- unindexable or unreliably indexed
- have to watch the whole video to find out what I say and can't easily skim
- Problem with ideas like seesmic --> have to do things in someone elses time
- Monitization problems for companies and sites like youtube--> can't target ads well
- example of bad placement
- Tagging is current method but is no good (some companies do manual tagging)
- Used to think that solution was audio indexing with speech to text technology but not so much anymore
- What's really needed is Object recognition and intention recognition so we know what things are, what the point of the video is, and what the tone of the actions in the video are in relation to each object --> long time coming
- even when the semantic web comes about, video will still be a problem
- person who cracks video has a lot of opportunity or at least a good job waiting for them at sites like youtube
- Will post notes from now on
Personal Update:
- Weekend--> lost one debit card, broke another, can't touch my business acct because thats where the rent is coming from --> interesting situation
- Haven't slept cause I couldn't fall asleep
- Feel like I'm getting a lot done
- joe's coming tomorrow at 7AM and I have off tues thru thurs though I might have to do a small amount of work on wed
- Fought with joe... don't feel good about him... been having nightmares about making the wrong decision but need to get over that
- Began work on fundmii... will have template mostly done before I got to work today
- started keeping a list of blog topics (video wasn't on the list but became the topic when I started writing these notes)
1.09.2009
1.02.2009
Comics (from xkcd.com)
(Click the image to get the full view)
HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW:
And some other funny ones...
HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW:
And some other funny ones...
12.23.2008
11.30.2008
First YouTube Video
Ok... so I'm dead tired and I just finished playing Monopoly against Ajuna, Amanda, and Josh, but I wanted to get this out there before I forget. This evening (sat night), I spent several hours with Jonathan Ledee (one of my friends and the main character of the video) and Ajuna putting together this this video. We did muliple takes from various angles and then edited it together with Adobe Premier and since I had never really used that software before, it may have taken a little longer than it should have. Still, I'm very proud of the finished product! It's posted to Facebook and YouTube. There are plenty of outtakes (which aren't posted) and we had a really good time doing it...
And that's the thing... I, myself, had a REALLY good time doing it... its wierd and a little tedious at times during the editing but I never felt bored by the process... I had fun the whole time! It makes me think about that saying, "If you like what you do, you'll never work a day in your life". Well I can't remember the last time I had so much fun while also doing something that I thought was creative and cool. We're hoping it gets a whole bunch of views (we're shooting for millions but who knows ;-) ) but even if it doesn't, I enjoyed the process of making it so much that it doesn't even matter.
I honestly don't know what this means on the larger scale for me... Is this the way you're job is supposed to feel about the things you do for work and in life? I know I hate IT and want to get out of it as soon as possible... I want to feel like I did today every time I go to work. At least I now know what its like.
On a side note, I know I wasn't actually in this video so I am not as out there as I'd like to be (referring to the last post) but at the same time, it certainly was a step in the right direction... and I'll be in some of the future videos we plan to do. Anyway, YouTube view count currently stands at 15 so we'll see where it is when I wake up.
11.27.2008
Getting it all out there and taking the first step!
I don't know how to do this. Let me just start by saying that... I want to know... I know I need to know, but I don't... so I'm just going to try and THIS post will be the first step. By "this", I mean being straight forward and myself and out in the open without worrying about what others think, about the potential relationships I may ruin, about the fact that if I don't wait and save my "best" idea for the investors and connections I have, it will be a wasted opportunity and I'll never be able to go back to them again with another one because they won't look at me the same.... Basically, I need to rid myself of my fear of failure and open myself up to being creative, different, and a little against the grain. A combinations of things that I've been reading/listening to have brought me to this conclusion, but it is not one that I haven't come to before. I AM CAPABLE OF ANYTHING but more importantly, I AM THE ONLY PERSON HOLDING MYSELF BACK. Not only is it a fear of failure but it is also a fear of losing everything I have so far. I have often said... and many of my close friends will agree with me... that I need stability, that I strive for it. According to Seth Godin's recent book "Tribes", that exactly what society has trained me to want and its exactly what's holding me back.
I think about myself and compare myself to my best friend Jon and I always get caught up with how creative he is and how doesn't just settle for what he knows he can get... he pushes the envelope and asks for more. A perfect example of this is when it comes to getting paid... whereas, I might want $100/hr, if a job came along that offered me $85/hr, I'd probably just take it... I wouldn't even try to negotiate them up for fear of losing the job. Jon, in the same situation, would tell the recruiter to go fuck themselves unless they can do $100/hr. I've looked at this and other such situations in the past and said its stupid of him to do that and that doing things like that is taking unnecessary risks and yet more often than not he get what he asks for and I'm left wishing that I had done things the same way. That's not to say that everything that he has tried has worked... he doesn't get the first job that comes and he has failed in some of his projects (such as when he wanted the AMEX Platinum card, got it by using Paypal to make it look like he was increasing his spending each month until they gave it to him, and then lost it and all his other AMEX cards when they figured out what he had done). At the same time, the vast majority of things that he tries for succeed and if you don't try, you never succeed. In the past, I've always started a project and then got side-tracked by a different project or some other event in my life, which I would then blame for the reason why the original project wouldn't succeed. Additionally, I'll procrastinate and put off doing some aspect of a project In actuality, what I'm doing is the same thing I did through all of college... I was afraid of failure so I didn't try. When I failed, I was then able to say that it had been my choice because I hadn't given it my all. If you know me at all, you know that I like technology and new ideas, follow web 2.0 and social media news avidly and pride myself on knowing things that most people don't... and yet I have NEVER posted a video of myself on the Internet, I'm afraid of using web cams and don't like when people take pictures because than people might see me and judge me, i'm uncomfortable talking on the phone with people and prefer to use txt messages and even voice mails unless there is a specific reason for my call even with people that I'm supposed to be intimate (father, person I'm dating, close friends). I've been so afraid of losing the image and the person that I spent so much effort to build that refrain from doing anything that I don't have complete control over. I guess it comes down to a matter of confidence, which is silly because I have no reason not to be confident. I am only 24 and between everything I do (including the consulting company I started and built) I make ~$150K/year. I live by myself (but have friends over frequently) in a luxury, doorman, circle and fountain in front, indoor pool, hot tub and gym apartment building that costs $3200/month with a balcony and window view of most of Manhattan, the Hudson river, and New Jersey. I regularly blow on average between $400 and $800 (my all time high was $1800 in one night) per week on bottle service and champagne with my friends and whoever I find attractive out at my favorite clubs. I take taxis everywhere even though I have a monthly metrocard and I buy anything that I really want within reason. I order out every night and frequently go to semi-expensive restaurants (and sometimes REALLY expensive restaurants... The Four Seasons) and pay for others. WHAT IS THERE NOT TO BE CONFIDENT ABOUT? By most peoples standards, especially those at my age, I live VERY well.
The problem is, I'm not happy with it. Its not just about the money... its about doing and being who I want to be. I can't stay where I am in my life and I don't want to. I want more and the only person holding me back from getting it is me. So this is it... this is the point at which I turn change and start openly pursuing what I truly want next. This is the first step...
I was reading an article off LifeHack called 6 Simple Steps to Make Progress Towards Achieving Your Goals and a thought came to my head. The article suggests multiple things, all of which I've read/heard before from places like Oprah's commencement speech at Stanford or Anthony Robbins Personal Power tapes or even from David Allen's book Getting Things Done. Each time I've read them, I've followed through on the exercises and suggestions and done them but only by myself and never out the open. I imagine this is because if I set my goals and tell people about them and then don't follow through, I'll be a failure (which we've already established I'm afraid of becoming) so I thought that this time, in an effort to be open and get myself away from the bad habit of thinking that way, I'll post here what my what the expectations are for myself by the end of 2009. I may not achieve them all but I'm not going to be afraid of failure anymore.
Where I Will Be in Life in 1 years Time :
I want a two bedroom penthouse apartment in the building I currently live in with a south facing wrap around balcony or one of the very large balconies on which I will put my own personal outdoor hot tub and use for parties. The apartment will be fully furnished with modern furniture. The master bedroom will have among other things, my current bed and a comfortable armchair by the windows to sit and read. The room will have its own 42inch or bigger flat panel TV mounted on the wall (and linked into my home network) and a Bose lifestyle system professionally installed. The second bedroom will be used as my home office, with my desk and computer set up, my home server set up (web server/media server), a futon/sofa bed for when my friends stay over, and a white board. My living room will have a nice corner couch and an armchair to sit in (perhaps the couch I already have), its own large flat panel TV system (linked into my home network), a Bose lifestyle sound system that can link with the one in the bedroom. On one of the walls I will have an framed original, custom made Joe Phillips cartoon that I had commissioned. There will also be a fully stocked fish tank. The kitchen will have a wine rack full of my favorite bottles of wine and champagne and a cappuccino maker. I will have a fully stocked bar and fridge with all different types of alcohol and drinks. In the garage downstairs, I will keep my BMW for the occasions when I want to go for a drive.
When it comes to where I work and what I do, I will not be doing IT consulting anymore. I will have given up my personal IT company and quit my full time job. I will have the flexibility to work from anywhere, but will spend most of my time in my new company's office or my home office. I will wake up early in the mornings, go to the gym so that I'm in great shape, have my cup of coffee and be excited to get to work so I can continue with my ideas. Some weekends, I'll make it a long weekend and take random trips to Miami, San Fransisco, or other places with friends but I'll always be excited to come back to keep working. I'll be well into paying off my student loans and other debt and be saving a bit more.
So there you have it. That's what I want next. I know it may sound like a lot and that I may sound like a brat but that's my next step... the next level I'd like to be at. So what's it gonna take? Not even millions... I'd say about $150K more than what I make now and a successful new venture of my own. Now, I may not make it to this in a year or even true but it doesn't seem so outlandish anymore now that I actually think about it and you'll all know if I fail because you'll see it here on this blog... but I won't, at least not in the long run. I am Dan Delphin after all, and there's nothing wrong with that... in fact, quite the opposite! I'm done being afraid and ready to get started!
I think about myself and compare myself to my best friend Jon and I always get caught up with how creative he is and how doesn't just settle for what he knows he can get... he pushes the envelope and asks for more. A perfect example of this is when it comes to getting paid... whereas, I might want $100/hr, if a job came along that offered me $85/hr, I'd probably just take it... I wouldn't even try to negotiate them up for fear of losing the job. Jon, in the same situation, would tell the recruiter to go fuck themselves unless they can do $100/hr. I've looked at this and other such situations in the past and said its stupid of him to do that and that doing things like that is taking unnecessary risks and yet more often than not he get what he asks for and I'm left wishing that I had done things the same way. That's not to say that everything that he has tried has worked... he doesn't get the first job that comes and he has failed in some of his projects (such as when he wanted the AMEX Platinum card, got it by using Paypal to make it look like he was increasing his spending each month until they gave it to him, and then lost it and all his other AMEX cards when they figured out what he had done). At the same time, the vast majority of things that he tries for succeed and if you don't try, you never succeed. In the past, I've always started a project and then got side-tracked by a different project or some other event in my life, which I would then blame for the reason why the original project wouldn't succeed. Additionally, I'll procrastinate and put off doing some aspect of a project In actuality, what I'm doing is the same thing I did through all of college... I was afraid of failure so I didn't try. When I failed, I was then able to say that it had been my choice because I hadn't given it my all. If you know me at all, you know that I like technology and new ideas, follow web 2.0 and social media news avidly and pride myself on knowing things that most people don't... and yet I have NEVER posted a video of myself on the Internet, I'm afraid of using web cams and don't like when people take pictures because than people might see me and judge me, i'm uncomfortable talking on the phone with people and prefer to use txt messages and even voice mails unless there is a specific reason for my call even with people that I'm supposed to be intimate (father, person I'm dating, close friends). I've been so afraid of losing the image and the person that I spent so much effort to build that refrain from doing anything that I don't have complete control over. I guess it comes down to a matter of confidence, which is silly because I have no reason not to be confident. I am only 24 and between everything I do (including the consulting company I started and built) I make ~$150K/year. I live by myself (but have friends over frequently) in a luxury, doorman, circle and fountain in front, indoor pool, hot tub and gym apartment building that costs $3200/month with a balcony and window view of most of Manhattan, the Hudson river, and New Jersey. I regularly blow on average between $400 and $800 (my all time high was $1800 in one night) per week on bottle service and champagne with my friends and whoever I find attractive out at my favorite clubs. I take taxis everywhere even though I have a monthly metrocard and I buy anything that I really want within reason. I order out every night and frequently go to semi-expensive restaurants (and sometimes REALLY expensive restaurants... The Four Seasons) and pay for others. WHAT IS THERE NOT TO BE CONFIDENT ABOUT? By most peoples standards, especially those at my age, I live VERY well.
The problem is, I'm not happy with it. Its not just about the money... its about doing and being who I want to be. I can't stay where I am in my life and I don't want to. I want more and the only person holding me back from getting it is me. So this is it... this is the point at which I turn change and start openly pursuing what I truly want next. This is the first step...
I was reading an article off LifeHack called 6 Simple Steps to Make Progress Towards Achieving Your Goals and a thought came to my head. The article suggests multiple things, all of which I've read/heard before from places like Oprah's commencement speech at Stanford or Anthony Robbins Personal Power tapes or even from David Allen's book Getting Things Done. Each time I've read them, I've followed through on the exercises and suggestions and done them but only by myself and never out the open. I imagine this is because if I set my goals and tell people about them and then don't follow through, I'll be a failure (which we've already established I'm afraid of becoming) so I thought that this time, in an effort to be open and get myself away from the bad habit of thinking that way, I'll post here what my what the expectations are for myself by the end of 2009. I may not achieve them all but I'm not going to be afraid of failure anymore.
Where I Will Be in Life in 1 years Time :
I want a two bedroom penthouse apartment in the building I currently live in with a south facing wrap around balcony or one of the very large balconies on which I will put my own personal outdoor hot tub and use for parties. The apartment will be fully furnished with modern furniture. The master bedroom will have among other things, my current bed and a comfortable armchair by the windows to sit and read. The room will have its own 42inch or bigger flat panel TV mounted on the wall (and linked into my home network) and a Bose lifestyle system professionally installed. The second bedroom will be used as my home office, with my desk and computer set up, my home server set up (web server/media server), a futon/sofa bed for when my friends stay over, and a white board. My living room will have a nice corner couch and an armchair to sit in (perhaps the couch I already have), its own large flat panel TV system (linked into my home network), a Bose lifestyle sound system that can link with the one in the bedroom. On one of the walls I will have an framed original, custom made Joe Phillips cartoon that I had commissioned. There will also be a fully stocked fish tank. The kitchen will have a wine rack full of my favorite bottles of wine and champagne and a cappuccino maker. I will have a fully stocked bar and fridge with all different types of alcohol and drinks. In the garage downstairs, I will keep my BMW for the occasions when I want to go for a drive.
When it comes to where I work and what I do, I will not be doing IT consulting anymore. I will have given up my personal IT company and quit my full time job. I will have the flexibility to work from anywhere, but will spend most of my time in my new company's office or my home office. I will wake up early in the mornings, go to the gym so that I'm in great shape, have my cup of coffee and be excited to get to work so I can continue with my ideas. Some weekends, I'll make it a long weekend and take random trips to Miami, San Fransisco, or other places with friends but I'll always be excited to come back to keep working. I'll be well into paying off my student loans and other debt and be saving a bit more.
So there you have it. That's what I want next. I know it may sound like a lot and that I may sound like a brat but that's my next step... the next level I'd like to be at. So what's it gonna take? Not even millions... I'd say about $150K more than what I make now and a successful new venture of my own. Now, I may not make it to this in a year or even true but it doesn't seem so outlandish anymore now that I actually think about it and you'll all know if I fail because you'll see it here on this blog... but I won't, at least not in the long run. I am Dan Delphin after all, and there's nothing wrong with that... in fact, quite the opposite! I'm done being afraid and ready to get started!
11.20.2008
The Four Seasons Restaurant
Daniel Delphin, CCNP, MCSE
10.13.2008
Norton... YOU AND I ARE DONE!
Quick post about something that is really pissing me off... A couple months ago, I bought a brand new top of the line HP desktop. It came with a trial Norton Internet Security (an anti-virus/anti-spyware suite). Everything was fine and dandy for the first little while. I had no viruses and it did scans every so often to remove any potential spy-ware. Then it happened... my trial ran out and Norton began to become annoying... not just annoying... MORE THAN ANNOYING. Instead of letting me know when I start up my computer that my subscription expired and that my computer was not protected, it reminded me continuously... and when I say continuously, I mean every 15 minutes. This reminder involved getting a balloon pop-up that would be put on top of all my other windows.
Now that was annoying by itself, but then, in between the balloon pop-ups, I got the window pop-ups that I couldn't minimize and that I couldn't put other windows on top of... in other words... it blocked my view of the screen unless I dragged it off the screen to the side or clicked OK. There was NO getting rid of this thing.
If I should happen to click okay, it would whisk me away to the site where I could pay $50 to renew for a year. If I didn't follow through with the purchase, it would continue bothering me every 15 minutes no matter what I was doing, often interupting a TV show or movie. This went on for a good 3 weeks or so.
Finally, tonight, I've had it! I'm done. I refuse to be bullied into buying the update and as there was no way to turn the reminders off, I'm through with Norton (and Symantec). I'd rather pay more money to get a different virus scanner than give my money to a company that would annoy or scare most normal computer users into paying. So I bought Trend Micro Anti-virus/Anti-Spyware software directly from their website... downloaded and installed it... Let me tell you... nothing made me happier than clicking the YES button here!
I'll never use Norton again and will recommend to my clients to not do so either. It's Trend from here on out!
Now that was annoying by itself, but then, in between the balloon pop-ups, I got the window pop-ups that I couldn't minimize and that I couldn't put other windows on top of... in other words... it blocked my view of the screen unless I dragged it off the screen to the side or clicked OK. There was NO getting rid of this thing.
If I should happen to click okay, it would whisk me away to the site where I could pay $50 to renew for a year. If I didn't follow through with the purchase, it would continue bothering me every 15 minutes no matter what I was doing, often interupting a TV show or movie. This went on for a good 3 weeks or so.
Finally, tonight, I've had it! I'm done. I refuse to be bullied into buying the update and as there was no way to turn the reminders off, I'm through with Norton (and Symantec). I'd rather pay more money to get a different virus scanner than give my money to a company that would annoy or scare most normal computer users into paying. So I bought Trend Micro Anti-virus/Anti-Spyware software directly from their website... downloaded and installed it... Let me tell you... nothing made me happier than clicking the YES button here!
I'll never use Norton again and will recommend to my clients to not do so either. It's Trend from here on out!
8.01.2008
7.22.2008
My Favorite Mistake
I have always felt that people who are more fortunate should help those who aren't. Granted, there's more driving this decision than that... There's friendship, caring, and ... I'd love to come out of this experience better off... Happier... More stable in life and maybe, hopefully (though prob not) I will. If not, at least I made an attempt... I tried to make someones... two people's... lives better... I'll have given them a chance to make something of themselves at my expense... You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. Its up to them now.
The best I can hope for is...
"to find the best in others; to give one's self; to leave the world a little better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition"
Or maybe... Just maybe... This is all in vain... And I'm LOST.
Daniel Delphin, CCNP, MCSE
7.15.2008
In the darkness of terror, this poem provides a twinkle of hope
I'd almost forgotten about this poem until an old friend reminded me that I had part of it in my Facebook profile... so here it is in its entirety. For me, it reminds me that life is full of difficulties, inspires me to recognize and conquer them, and helps me to feel proud of who/what I am today even if I'm not where I want to be yet.
If - Rudyard Kipling
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!
If - Rudyard Kipling
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)